Thursday, January 24, 2008


Just needed that laugh, a lighter moment and a little space to breathe. I realize that the last year was a bit too heavy for us and altered our lives. We lost another parent. Another person who would say "it is going to be okay" at the sight of a mundane set of knitted brows or warn the onset of an asthma attack at the slightest cough and even worry at the stubborn pimple appearing on my face!
I more or less stopped writing as is apparent from the blog posts or the lack of it! I don't want to talk about the mourning and the grief and the rituals - well... maybe some day but not today.

I want to celebrate the life that was and talk about the blossoms (Gulmohar) that made him and us smile. They are brightest as summer sets in Delhi and reminds of the times that the little sapling was stolen and promptly planted in front of the house. It grew quietly to watch the changes around it and never for once came in the way. On the other hand it continued to bloom and grow year after year - did what was expected - provide shade in the sweltering months, shed a bit in the dry winter months and yet was steady, and provided the only spec of color in the very dull onset of extreme Delhi summer.

While we come up for a bit of air, I think of the tree that is always there providing us with nourishing sustenance, nurturing hope and a calmness that it just might be alright. There is an end to suffering, relief in freedom and great happiness in release.

I seem to draw some solace through the following shloka from the Hindu texts:

Nainam chhindanti shastrani nainam dahati pavakah nachainam kladayanti aapo na shoshayati marutah

Very simplistically speaking this means that, weapons cannot destroy the soul, nor can fires burn it. Water cannot make it wet and air cannot dry it. It implies the immortality of the “soul” and for me the strength of memory and the brightness of Gulmohar that lives on guiding life and end of life around it.

I just need to laugh!